The End Of The World pt1

I started writing this song a month or so ago whilst watching The Day After Tomorrow The chord sequence suggested itself straightaway, along with a strong urge to sing "It's not the end of the world", at the refrain at the end of the verse. I thought at the time that this was a bit cliched, especially as I ended up writing global-warming-is-upon-us kinda lyrics, inspired by the theme of the film. After the initial burst of interest, I shelved it as it wasn't really inspiring me.

Weeks later I improvised some new lyrics to the chords and it started to be about something else entirely... now it kind of conjures up the idea of a person suffering from mental illness or possibly hallucinations, and the verses started to shape from there. I've been on both sides of the mental illness equation and I know that it often affects the people around the person suffering more than the victim themselves, especially in cases of mania, schizophrenia or Alzheimer's. Recent play-throughs have been interesting as I manage to work myself up through the refrains... not actually singing, but kind of implying the words "I'm waiting for the end of my world" that the title suggests. I may or may not sing that bit live, it all depends. I really like the "How can we stop you screaming?" line, which is actually inspired by Whitley Schrieber's book Communion, and a man who believes he was abducted by aliens. At least I think it's from there... it might have been from a dream.

Anyway, without further ado, here are the lyrics. Demo to follow when I have the rest of the second verse and the melody/form pinned down. I will definitely play a version of it on Wednesday at the Blag Club in Notting Hill - even unfinished I have a lot of belief in it.

The End Of The World pt1
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There's a hole in my heart,
Where the blood runs cold.
I've been told that I better calm down,
But I never could do what I'm told

So I'm looking down on myself,
And I can't feel my own skin.
I hear this clown say I really feel down,
But the joke is wearing thin

I'm really struggling here...

I think I've been here before?
On the slide or roundabout.
There's something I've been meaning to say,
But the words just won't come out.

I'm really struggling here...

How can we stop you screaming?
(We're only trying to help.)
How can we stop you screaming?

I really shouldn't be here,
This is all a mistake.
I think I might even know who you are,
If I can just recognise your face.

Why is my brain speeding up?
Why is the room changing size?
I'm sure that we can clear this all up,
If the doctor's stop telling me lies

I'm really struggling here...
I'm waiting for the end of my world.
I'm really struggling here...
I'm waiting for the end of my word

How can we stop you screaming?
How can we stop you screaming?

I'm really struggling here...
I'm waiting for the end of my world.
I'm really struggling here...
I'm waiting for the end of my word


(D. Callow 2008)


Yesterday I saw the slides of Nan Goldin set to the (live) music of John Kelly and Patrick Wolf in the Turbine Hall at Tate Modern. A very inspiring performance, especially by Patrick Wolf, whom I had not heard of before, but is a very talented multi-instrumentalist with a fantastic vocal range. Apart from getting a sore bum from inadequate cushioning, it was a very uplifting evening.

Dxxx