Star Battles 2014

[These are the new chapters of my sci-fi story written for the Daren Callow V. Nazi Robots exhibition which is at The Kitchen Window Gallery until 28th November]

1

Rewind.

I have a memory. It’s a beautiful autumn evening, the sort of wonderful reddish brown light you only find in England. I’m moving backwards. There is a broken teacup, pretty fine porcelain, a shard lying on the ground, I can’t pick it up I’m still moving backwards. The light is just so wonderful, auburn evening hues. I’m rounding a corner; there is a flash of light. The cup is broken in my hand: hot, brown liquid seeps through my fingers. The edges of the broken cup look so beautiful, crisp and white in this light.

Forward.

A man appears around the corner. Bowler hat, dark trench coat, official looking moustache; he moves purposefully in an odd slow motion. He reaches inside his coat and pulls out a broom handle Mauser and starts firing. I see the shell cases ejecting, pulsing flashes of stark light. The teacup in my hand fractures and falls apart at half speed. Another shot, I’m moving. I don’t think I’m hit; my only thought is to get around the corner, out of line of sight. The cup is gone, it’s a shame I think. The light is just so exquisite. The moustache is still advancing, firing, but he’s lost me. I made it around the corner and I’m gone. Just the wonderful dusk light and the piece of the broken teacup.

Play.

2

I am not Captain Scarlet; I’m in big trouble. There will be no regeneration this time.

Ahead of me across a brown, arid, war-scoured dustbowls are eight war robots. Mark IVs, the very worst: sophisticated, merciless, hi-tech killing machines. Now I’m sweating badly beneath my splinter-camo cape, NBC armour and hastily re-placed respirator; sweat drips over my eye as I try to keep my rifle trained on them. They kick up dust as they move with rapid, lopping steps, but they don’t need to hide, they are masters of this battlefield. Mark IVs are the aces of killing, the ultimate inbred mechanical monster. They resemble an armoured mushroom, flat domed head balancing on an upturned fire extinguisher, a cylindrical ammunition drum on their back and a mini-Gatling gun for a hand. Their legs are spindly, but very strong, designed to be hard to hit, designed keep them in the fight. To let them kill you, before you can destroy them. Despite their mechanical brilliance, I have one advantage. They can’t actually see me, at least, not until I open fire. I’m lying against the bank of a sunken trackway, covered with a splinter-camo cape that means they cannot detect my shape, heat or light. Without these clues I’m just part of the background noise, just a shape in the dust. Fine if I can just let them go by on their merry mechanical way, but I can’t – they’re heading exactly the wrong blasted direction. Straight towards home.

Since they burnt the ground, poisoned the air and shot down everything that moved out of the sky, we’ve been hiding. We dug tunnels into the rock, camouflaging everything and rebuilding what’s precious to us underground. Nothing lives up here so we have to make everything, even our food is 3D printed (and tastes like it). But they haven’t found us yet, and they are not going to do so on my watch. If only there hadn’t been eight of them! I’m kicking myself now (metaphorically) for lazily bringing only 4 rocket tubes. Four tubes - four kills, but there are eight, so somehow I have to shoot the other four, or they will kill me. Today. Right here in the dust. I blink the sweat away and try to refocus, the time of action is rapidly approaching and I don’t want to be thinking about it too much. Definitely eight of them, definitely going the way I don’t want them to be going. Right, that’s it then, let’s be having you.

Leaving my assault rifle on its bipod I pick up the first rocket tube. Tear off the safety strip, point it towards the first Zyke in the deck, deep breath, wait for the red LED to turn green – locked on: press down firmly on the trigger. The tube kicks slightly and a rocket streams out towards the enemy. I don’t even watch it; it can’t miss unless it’s a dud. I chuck it over my shoulder and grab the second tube, same drill – two away. Tube gone I grab the assault rifle, find a target and squeeze off two bursts until the droid in my sights buckles, fractures and starts to topple. That’s quite enough; I don’t even glance as I drag the rifle back into the sunken track and head stiff-legged to my second position. There are two flashes of light, and two bangs, I’m still ducking, running. It feels like an age until I’m at the second stash of rocket tubes. The rifle goes up onto the bank in roughly the right orientation; this will be my last stand, my Alamo. I throw off the splinter-camo, too late for that now, they’ll be on this position in seconds. The tubes are just as I left them, ready to go, safety strips already pulled on these two, I knew if I had to use them there would be no time to think. Out on the plain there is twisted metal, smoke and bursts of gunfire aimed at my first position. The remaining five monsters are heading towards that spot at full speed. Last two rockets are away and my hand is shaking on the rifle grip, waiting for a target. This time I watch the rockets all the way snaking through the air streaming smoke and fire. They impact directly on the body of the two robots targeted. I say a quiet thank you to whomsoever designed these great bits of kit. Four shots, four kills. Through the light and smoke of the explosions the remaining three are turning towards me. I bring up the rifle and start to fire, but I’m panicking, the shots miss, the robots know how to move and evade fire. 100 metres away. Bullets are zeroing in on me, I have only a few seconds. Fire again, maybe hit one, but it’s still going. They are ten seconds away, but their bullets are closer. At least I didn’t hesitate when it was my turn, at least I did my job. Take one more with you, I focus, squeeze the trigger, fire.

In a blaze of colour, sound, light the whole area of earth around the droids suddenly kicks up in every direction. The machines explode, freacture, splinter, flame. Cannon shells tearing ground, rock, sand and automaton alike. There is a screaming roar in the air and a collosal, darker than night aircraft powers over my head still spitting lead from belly mounted cannons, throwing dust in every direction. I am so shocked I can barely register it. The delta wing craft banks and circles round. In a second it’s a kilometre away from me. I’m watching it pull a high G turn banking elegantly to turn back towards me. It has no marking and it’s bodywork is so black it’s almost sucking the light out of the air. An arrow shaped black hole. Instinct makes me turn my eyes away, back towards the Zyke patrol, scanning with my rifle for movement. But it’s just so much scrap metal now, blown to the four winds and scattered across the scree.

The plane by now has made it’s turn and is thundering back directly towards me. Trailing dark smoke from it’s rocket exhausts, a black triangle growing in the sky. I wonder how it’s still in the air, not shot down by AA missiles like all our craft were. Nothing flies anymore, nothing. It suddenly occurs to me that I might not know if I am friend of foe. Frantically I reach up to my line-of-sight laser coms on my helmet and point it their way. “Send ID, Send ID” I try to say, but my mouth is so dry I can barely croak. Perhaps it worked though, the craft does a strange manouvere, it dips each wing in turn, a little wiggle in the air. It feels like it’s just for me. Then it suddenly turns and powers into a steep climb. I’ve never seen something so powerful , so menacing and yet elegant at the same time. I watch until all that’s left is a drifting smoke trail and with a gulp realise that it’s turned exactly the way the Zykes were going before I so rudely interrupted them: home. It knows where I live, and it will be there an hour or more before me.

Standing up with wobbly legs and sweaty hands, I shoulder my rifle and hobble painfully to retrieve my splinter-camo cape. My legs know the way to go, even as I fumble with the clasp I’m clumping stiff-legged on the way back to base. Somehow I have a feeling now the angel of death has arrived, this war will never be the same again.

A Life In Sci-Fi

Were you influenced by Sci-fi as a child? Did you fly through the stars like Dan Dare or Kerr Avon, or prowl the dark streets of the metropolis like Captain Scarlet or Judge Dredd? I did all of this and more and from the first moment I could I recorded those adventures with pen and paper.

I was also obsessed with WWII comics (Battle & Action and Warlord) and this influenced the stories too, but Sci-fi was the real love of my childhood. Eventually I discovered 2000AD which reminded me of my dad’s Eagle comics from the 50s (which I still have) and began reading, collecting and copying the artwork from the 1980s onwards.

Star Wars (1977) changed my life. It must be hard to understand the impact that this movie had on our lives as kids. Bubble-gum cards were eagerly traded, money was saved up for toys and cardboard was feverishly crafted into spaceships, death stars and lightsabers. Star Wars harked back to the earlier matinee idols of Buck Rogers (not the camp 70s version) and Flash Gordon (ditto 80s version) and these were sporadically shown on early morning TV. The idea of battling amongst the stars had never been so appealing. Battlestar Galactica was another fascination, the silver, killer robots started appearing in my own stories immediately, albeit with a harder, grittier edge (In this case 2004s reboot of the series was actually excellent, but scarily very similar to the ideas I had been hatching in the meantime).

It wasn’t just American imports that inspired us. We had our own British heroes, the aforementioned Dan Dare, then Captain Scarlet (the man who couldn’t die – thus the perfect boyish role model as, of course, we never really died in our stories either) and, best of all Blake’s 7. In this latter case teleporter rings were cunningly fashioned from the rings of squash bottles slavered in enamel paint. Guns and control panels were constructed from Lego and friends and family duly roped in (characters carefully allotted) the adventures began (and have never stopped).

Now I continue to draw ideas and write sci-fi fiction in a literary form. Long sleepless nights are spent flying the stars and dreaming up the next chapters. The more I think about it, the more the influences are too many to mention, so below are a summary of the main ones close to my imagination with the dates they first appeared (I was born in 1968, so anything before that was TV repeats or old comics).

To celebrate this life of fierce creativity I will be exhibiting many of my early comic creations (books, comics, annuals, collector cards, fan club newsletter etc. etc.) as part of the on-going Kitchen Window Gallery series - Daren Callow v Nazi Robots. Please join me at the gallery for the opening on the 26th October 2pm – 5pm where you can handle (carefully) and read these early efforts and I will read from the very latest installment, written especially for the exhibition. Please see this link for the address and more details: http://thekitchenwindowgallery.blogspot.co.uk/

Even if you can’t join us, I’d love to hear your memories of the sci-fi heroes that influenced and excited me. Take a look at this list below and share your thoughts.

Buck Rogers 1928 (1950 TV series)

Flash Gordon 1934

Dan Dare (Eagle) 1950

Dune 1965

Captain Scarlet and the Mysterons 1967-1968

Space 1999 1975-1977 (John Koenig)

Star Wars 1977-1983

Judge Dredd (2000AD) 1977

Battlestar Galactica 1978-1979 (Lieutenant Starbuck) – then again 2004-2005

Blake’s 7 – 1978-1981 (Kerr Avon)

Rogue Trooper (2000AD) – 1981-1985

Culture Series (Iain M Banks) 1987-2012

The Matrix 1999

Firefly 2002-2004

The Beast Of Camberwell

With great trepidation and heart very much in my mouth I, and a score of others, assembled to join the foray to seek, and possibly capture, the mythical beast of Camberwell Green. Professor Frog Morris over-excitable from a week of searching greeted us by his impressive hide, adorned with many helpful likenesses of the fiend and tales of his sightings. There were many questions as the motley band were first drilled in health and safety (none of us could see the fire exit) and then led a merry dance across the wastes of the Green to hear the various yarns associated with the foul apparition. A chipper few ventured their own possible sightings: on an omnibus here, in a greasy American chain food franchise there, but most scoffed nervously at such banter. Determined that our soiree not end in failure, Prof. Morris laid an intoxicating sheen of the beast’s favoured pheromones over his most likely emerging point (Eau de kebab much enjoyed by all, scent of curry less so), but to no avail although the tension was still palpable.

Then, when all had seemed forlorn and we had minded to disperse: SHOCK! HORROR!! The beast is spied and a “Tally ho” is raised in pursuit. Chaos ensued. A fearsome melee! Children and adults knocked hither and thither as the brave professor, net clutched in white knuckles, pounced fearlessly. A glimpse of the beast only; a snout here, a smart set of braces and dicky-bow there. A hideously gnarled claw lashed out and he was gone, bundled away by Prof. Morris for examination and reports.

I hear that he returned, chained and chastened, to the Green later but I was too afeard to return and come face to face with my nemesis. We can only hope it is finally in a place where it can no longer do any harm to itself or the innocent burghers of Camberwell. We will all sleep a little easier in our beds for this escapade.

This Happy Band

Yesterday I was playing as part of This Happy Band an art project / pub crawl arranged by Daniel Lehan as part of the Nunhead Festival. It was certainly a fun and slightly surreal experience. We all gathered outside the Old Nun's Head pub near Nunhead Green and what a motley crew we were. There were pirates, musicians, a human percussion instrument (also known as Calum F Kerr), a laughing bear, a pantomime horse, a poet or two and a man dressed head to toe in camouflage as a kind of latter day Greene Manne. We collectively clattered and strummed our way around three pubs performing as we went. Frog Morris chipped in with a poem or two (mostly about beer), I performed a few songs as did Tim, and Mr Solo. There were many highlights to the day, but the performances in the Nunhead Community centre, and our impromptu appearance on the festival stage certainly topped it off. There is a small video clip of this on YouTube: the saxophone player is Viv and the ukelele is played by Tim.

We all ended up in the Man Of Kent for one more performance in front of the bemused locals. My version of Do You Want To Dance? was nearly drowned out by miscellaneous percussive noises. We all performed a final item and then relaxed with a few well deserved beers.

I'm just about recovered now and doing some practice before tomorrow's gig at the Camden Head - if you are free come along from 9pm - 100 Camden High Street.

Daren
xxx

Down Under The Station

We all had a feeling it was going to be an interesting gig. Even getting into the place was a challenge. Perhaps you've been to London Bridge recently and seen a long queue of people seemingly waiting to get into some part of the station basement. Well I know what they are waiting for now, and it's called Shunt.

Shunt is hard to define, it's part work space, part theatre, part art installation, part night club. The atmosphere is damp and humid, like being in a cave or some sort of Victorian England slum experience. It's no coincidence that the London Dungeon share the same space in the dank arches under the station. I arrived at the entrance in Stainer Street and then was led through a reception, bar, theatre and huge video installation that takes up about 10 arches to the far side of this eclectic venue. We were performing in the Speakeasy, which is a little pub sized room with a small bar and a big PA. The chairs and tables didn't match anything - least of all each other, and the whole vibe was easy going. The artists were all nervous and excited, we had no idea what the audience reaction would be to the mixed line-up that our host - Frog Morris - on behalf of Utrophia had assembled.

In the end we had no worries at all (apart from the odd technical glitch). The audience came in and out, but often stayed and crowded around the door to catch what was happening. We didn't disappoint them.

Frog was first on as host: Dave the security guard, who has an interesting line in safety information and an unhealthy relationship with his dogs! The first section of the show was dedicated to art. Daniel Lehan, becoming an increasingly confident performer, amused and entertained with poems and stories about sex, Sting and an interactive poem about buses in London. Next up was another gob-smacking performance from Duncan Ward. It's very hard to give a full flavour of what Duncan does in mere words, but suffice to say it involved, bags of compost, a bottle of champagne, leaves and other foliage, a paper aeroplane and, well, a fair about of mess. As with the last time I saw him at the Montague Arms, the audience were hushed into mesmerised silence, and the doorway was crammed with people trying to get a view.

After the art, it was the turn of the comedians, and James W. Smith, with musings on philosophy and sex and Aaron Barshak, the self-styled Comedy Terrorist, helped us understand religion a little more completely. There was also an appearance by the renown medium - Mystic Huere.

Finally it was time for the music! I was up first and went for the more performance art end of my repertoire. It all seemed to go down pretty well, despite one small equipment glitch. The full set was:

The End Of The World Part I
The Prophet
Lightkeeper
The End Of The World Part II
After All
When The Snow Fell In Denver (extended version including a spoken verse from Obsession)
The Doctor Who Theme Tune (Oh yes!)
I Need Your Love

I was very pleased to get some great feedback after the set, and sold quite a few CDs.

Last, but not least, was Deference Engine who despite one or two problems with the backing track played a storming set. In the end all that was left to do was sing a rousing chorus or two of Angry Badger (pictured above, Deference Engine just off) and we were on our way out of the venue into the south London night.

It was such a great event and, although we are unlikely to ever get the chance to perform at Shunt again, you can see similar nights to this EVERY MONTH - on the 2nd Thursday at the Montague Arms in Peckham.

Or if you want to catch my songs sooner, then I'll be at Prohibition (a mere stone's throw from Shunt in the St. Katharine's docks near Tower Bridge) tonight!

Daren
xxx

Life Goes On...

"...Sing-a-long if you know where I'm coming from"

It's been quite an intense couple of weeks in many ways, and I must say I'm certainly feeling it a bit. The last few days especially have been a time for reflection, re-motivating and re-starting. Last Sunday (1st) I played at the Surface Unsigned Festival in Tufnel Park. On the whole it was a fun experience, I met some cool bands (and one decidedly uncool singer) and I pitched my solo set (with voice effects and looper) against five rock bands! It was certainly a crazy thing to do and it was no huge surprise that I didn't get through to the next round, but all the same I was a bit disappointed. In the end the maths was just weighted against me, I'd relied on picking up some of the band votes (each band got two votes worth 20 points each) which I did (more than any other act) but just couldn't pull in the text votes and audience votes to get into the top 4. I have to say though I did well not to come last, and I am very grateful to all those who texted in and, especially, to Adrian, Olivia, Alan (my dad) and Lorraine who all come through the snow to vote for me in person. If you are interested you can see the full breakdown of the scores here:

http://www.surfaceunsigned.co.uk/londonHomepage.html

As you can see I missed out on fourth place by just 14 votes! Mind you The JayWays, who pulled out on the day, are an excellent band who might well have displaced a few higher up. At least I was there, I competed (against bands) and did myself proud. It was hard work doing the looping and trying to sing in tune when the onstage monitoring was a bit iffy, but apparently it sounded good out front, so what else could I do?

After enjoying a couple of post-gig drinks and hearing the result I headed out to find that the whole of London had turned white! As you probably know, we don't get snow in London very often and we are never prepared for it. Consequently I arrived at Balham station (after a very pleasant journey with one of the other bands and four girls from the Czech Republic!) to find no trains running, no buses running and one of the two cab companies shutting up early! The other company had a queue and there was me with a guitar and a bag full of electronic equipment trying to get in whilst the snow fell on me. I couldn't actually get into the lobby, so I check the buses again (no joy) and was just beginning to think I might actually have to walk home (some 9 km or so) through the increasing piles of white. Fortunately the other cab company had space for me to enter now, so I did only to find out that the cab that had just left was my best bet. Fortunately they waited, and after a quick trudge around the corner I was finally in a vehicle that was able to get me home safely.

In other news, the videos from the Double Book Launch are now up and you have a choice of two, this is my favourite:



Taken by Casdok herself, this one skips the intro and gets straight into the performance. Cunningly this angle means that you can't see the music stand with the lyrics on it (with the pages the wrong way around). You can just about make out a cable running from the PA and up inside my jacket to my iPod headphones - used as cunning in-ear monitors - vital to making sure I could hear what I was doing. If you would like to hear the (slightly nervous) introduction to this piece, then check out this version:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rAYBizvWDso

Don't forget that you can buy a copy of the Shrek Rap single (either on CD or as a download) for a donation of just £3. We have already raised £17 this way and it would be great to get even more money for DJ Kirkby's local Autism network. Do get in touch via a comment or an email to music @ darencallow.co.uk (without the spaces) and your very own copy will be on its way. It also includes two of my songs recorded especially for this release as an added incentive.

So what's next?

Well apart from a new version of Obsession and a new song called Life Goes On (see lyric at the very top), I'm also working on a piece for Daniel Lehan's show 50 Not Out at the Montague Arms on the 12th March. I'm also planing to record Until We Pass This Way Again and a new acoustic version of Lightkeeper. So there will be plenty to see and hear very soon - come along to Prohibition on the 15th February to hear some new things.

Daren
xxx

P.S. Do check out the radio show on South City Radio (see below) if you haven't already.

Lost And Thieved

Three gigs in as many days, but not all my own this time. Monday night I was at the inaugural RAW (Real InterActive Writing) workshop and open mic night at the Abbey Tavern in Kentish Town. It was my first time there and I was highly impressed not only by the standard of contributions, but in the energy and attitude of the performers, next one is the first Monday of February, I expect it to go from strength to strength this year.

It's Tuesday night and I'm heading through the extreme cold to a venue I've not been to in a while. All I really remember about playing and seeing bands at the Water Rats is that it's extremely loud! Well I wasn't disappointed. I went to see Thick As Thieves (pictured above) perform and they did not disappoint either. Their sound is a combination of Iron Maiden, Nirvana and perhaps shades of Guns N Roses but with an inventive twist or two. They seemed to be reading my mind through the evening, as no sooner had the thought "oh they should get the drummer to join in the harmonies" enter my head, but Lo! it was done. Okay smartarses, I thought, where are the quiet bits to go with the in yer face noise - and Lo(2)! a quiet vocal section ensued. There were other examples of this, but I can't remember them now. All in all it was certainly enjoyable, and above all LOUD! In fact they have subsequently informed me that their middle name is Loud (which I guess makes them David, David, Loud and Emma - or perhaps Thick As Loud Thieves - not sure) - which means that I will probably have to make my middle name "Earplugs" next time I go to see them play.

On Wednesday I went to see the Lost And Found Orchestra at the Southbank. This is a big show from the people that brought us Stomp, and I have to say it practically defies description. Within the show are elements of music, dance, comedy, theatre and, er, DIY. It's quite a spectacle and I thoroughly recommend it.

News
====

There are too many shows coming up to mention here in detail so I'll mention just three and list them all at the end.

On 26th January I am very excited (and slightly nervous) to be performing my interpretation of the Shrek Rap by fellow blogger Casdok. This will be at the book launch for From Zaftig To Aspie (details below) written by DJ Kirkby whom you will probably also know from the Blogging sphere. I don't want to give too much away about my performance, but it will be combining elements of my live show (most notably looped pieces like The Prophet) with a spoken word delivery that (at the moment) seems to be somewhere between Lou Reed and Baz Luhrman! Whether or not a recorded version of this track will ever make it into the public domain is uncertain, so if you really want to hear it - you'll just have to be there!

Very early notice, but on the 12th March at 2nd Thursday at the Montague Arms, I'll be performing another interpretation of a written piece. This time it's a piece by Daniel Lehan.

Finally, please, please, please consider either coming along to, or texting your support for my Surface Unsigned Festival 09 appearance - I need say no more!

Happy New Year to you all!

Daren
xxx

10th January 2009, 7.00pm
The Rialto Club, Raynes Park Lantern Centre Coffee Shop, 195 – 205 Worple Road, SW 20 8ET

11th January 2009, 8.00pm
15 Minute Club @ The Living Room Oxford, 1 Oxford Castle, Oxford, OX1 1AY

25th January 2009, 8.00pm
15 Minute Club @ The Living Room, 18-26 Essex Road,Islington, N1 8LN

26th January 2009, 8.00pm
From Zaftig To Aspie - Book Launch
Jardin Du Vin in Rosies Wine Bar, 87 Elm Grove, Southsea, Hampshire, PO5 1JF 87
- one-off performance of Shrek Rap by Casdok

1st February 2009, 9.30pm
Surface Unsigned Music Festival, Boston Music Room, 178 Junction Rd, Tufnell Park, N19 5QQ

15th February 2009, 7.30pm
15 Minute Club @ Prohibition, St. Katherine's Docks, London, E1W 1AA

22nd February 2009, 7.30pm
15 Minute Club @ Prohibition, St. Katherine's Docks, London, E1W 1AA

26th February 2009, 8.00pm
Fused Lounge Bar, 21 Lee High Road, Lewisham, SE13 5LD

12th March 2009, 9.00pm
2nd Thursdays @ The Montague Arms
- one-off performance of a Daniel Lehan piece

White Noise

Three venues, three events.

Wednesday: The Blag Club in Notting Hill

A small venue hidden behind a wooden door, incongruously located next to Rymans. I'm early (as always), nervous about the new technology I'm using tonight. The soundcheck is quick, patchy, I'm not sure how it's going to sound. I have to remove all my equipment, this makes it worse, what if some important knob or switch gets knocked, some vital setting changed. I try not to worry, check out the other acts soundchecks and sit back to wait my turn to play.

The other acts do their bit - it's a hard night. The venue has bare walls, there is a birthday party in, the noise of the crowd is almost painful. It's supposed to be an acoustic venue, but the acoustics are amplifying the crowd's chatter, strangling the artists on the stage. Mentally I'm readjusting my set, putting in louder songs, resolving to stick to my guns as much as I can, use the technology. This is what I do, I've practised very hard for this moment, my 25 minutes of infamy infront of a largely indifferent group of individuals.

It's time, I move to the stage, feverishly plugging in leads, checking settings, double-checking tunings. Oh to have just a guitar and plug in and play. Too late. It strikes my frenzied brain that the electronics don't care about the crowd and their noise. The harmony voices are ready to soar above them, to follow my every utterance with a relish undimmed. The distortion pedal is ready to break up my guitar's beautiful tones, throw clipped rock notes into the space. A calm comes over me - what do I care? I have something to share. Songs based on experience, honed by a hundred performances, a thousand hours of sweaty practice. Here we go. I say something in the mic. A camera clicks in my face, the video rolls. I hit a G chord. It begins.


Thursday: The White Hart

Peace. Another upstairs room, a cool escape from the muggy Whitechapel streets. There is rain outside, I don't care. I'm onstage, playing to a hushed room. Every eye (mostly) on me, every ear sparing some listening space to hear the notes I'm creating. It's a new song. Delicate, picked guitar notes. A folky melody - not like me at all. But I play with confidence and feel relaxed. I'm relishing the silence in the room, using it, filling it. Letting notes ring longer, holding sustained notes, feeling my way. No electronics tonight, just a guitar, a voice and a tambourine. I didn't think it would be like this, I wish I had my electronics (the irony is not lost on me). It doesn't matter though, the songs work, stripped down, or padded up. The lyrics taste good on my tongue. How many hours have I worked on these lines? Every word has a value.

It's the last song, sweat pours off my face into my eye, it stings. I'm standing on one leg, playing tambourine with the other, playing guitar with both hands, singing, sweating. I close one eye, the pain doesn't go away. It's the hardest part of the simplest of songs. Try and stay with it! Try and finish well, you've worked hard. My fingers slip, but it's okay. It's near enough for rock'n'roll. I finish. I wipe my eyes dry. Sweat and tears? I leave the stage, heading towards the friendly welcoming eyes, and a slightly warm pint of Guinness. Not perfect, but still good. Deserved, I think.


Friday: Elevator Gallery

A night off. Beautiful company. A boat on the Thames, a glass of wine. A cocktail at the O2 dome, accompanied by Kylie. She's somewhere in the building, but we're in the bar. Tube - train. A lift in a warehouse, it's a performance night. There is a girl in the corridor, she's deep into a role. It's scary, too much to take. In the main space a man is playing a violin through a Heath Robinson invention, cassette tape machine innards ripped out and lashed together. Perhaps it's more Frankenstein? The noise comes down through loudspeakers in the ceiling. White noise. You can't avoid it. It's too much for tonight, too intense. We leave soon after we arrive, back into the cool air. The journey home is slightly too long. It's good to be home though. Very, very good.

Tomorrow the work starts again.

Dxxx

Until We Pass This Way Again

Yes, it seems I have found my folk roots, or perhaps I've just been hanging out with Eddy Jay too much. Either way, I now have a demo of Until We Pass This Way Again for your thoughts. It's certainly a bittersweet song, about passing of time, but also about the way that things move in cycles - no matter what happens the Sun will always rise in the morning and Spring will follow Winter. This is just a demo, vocals and guitar together in one take (via my TC Helicon VoiceBox, so the guitar is not as nice as it will be when mic'ed up) but I think it has enormous potential and I'm already hearing violin (perhaps just a single one) around the two-thirds mark. But anyway, without more ado here it is:

Until We Pass This Way Again (Demo) - MP3 (3'57)

Let me know what you think! (lyrics in post below)


Other News

It's been another busy culture week. On Monday I was in a photo studio in London Fields assisting on a shoot that involved two clowns, a ballerina and a bodybuilder... oh, and some marshmallow dumbbell sculptures!!! It could only be the latest project by Alex Staiger - watch her website to see the results in a week or so.

The Friday before I had great fun at Zero De Conduite at the Elevator Gallery in Hackney Wick. The highlights were the excellent Sculpture doing live tape loop mixing accompanied by visuals that involved a record player and a video camera. Really good stuff. Here's the first three minutes on You Tube.

I also enjoyed James III And The Puritan - who is an almost indescribable mix of live mixer, DJ, grunge guitarist and, well, weirdo in a very strange outfit of cape and multiple headwear!! The Home Office were also excellent cleverly playing along to a video soundtrack so they had synched videos for their songs. Also appearing and entertaining were Craig Template and a gaggle of performance artists.



This Wednesday just gone I was partying at the Notting Hill Blag Club with Wayne Myers (whose birthday it was), and doing a little bit of promotion for my gig there next week. Talking of which, here are the next few coming up, do come along if you can.

30th July 2008, 8.45pm
The Notting Hill Blag Club, 68 Notting Hill Gate London, W11 3HT
The last gig here was an excellent night, this promises to be even better.

31st July 2008, 8.30pm
White Hart, 1 Mile End Road, Whitechapel, E14 4TP
Featured artist at this open mic night in happening Whitechapel.

14th August 2008, 8.30pm
Montague Arms, New Cross
Lots of music and comedy at the Unwrong Quiz night.

17th August 2008, 7.30pm
15 Minute Club @ Prohibition
Prohibition Bar & Grill, Unit 1 Tower Bridge House, St. Katharine Docks, East Smithfield, E1W 1AA
Just 15 minutes of fame!

31st August, 7.30pm
15 Minute Club @ The Living room
18-26 Essex Road, Islington, London, N1 8LN

Oh, one final thing. Why is it impossible to buy string anymore?! I mean, where do you get it from... no one has it!

Daren
xx

Oh I Do Like To Be Beside The Seaside... II

First up I must must correct an omission from the last post. One of the other pieces I saw on the first day was Serena Korda's The Library of Secrets. This is a custom made portable library that looks like it was made in the 60s, the idea is that you select a book, and then write a secret and place it amongst the pages of the book, for someone to discover another time. I really like this idea, as I love discovering things left in books (plus I've also taken to leaving my gig flyers in appropriate books, as a random way of meeting new fans... possibly). I actually met Serena at the Seaside Cabaret and it turns out she's from the Harrow area where I used to live. She has a piece on Stanmore Station platform at the moment.

On with Sunday at Whitstable then. After a less than restful night at the artist house (the sound of hoovering at one in the morning turned out to be a pump for inflating blow-up beds!!), we headed back to the seaside for some lunch. Since this is the coast it was seafood we were after and we were not disappointed. We went to the Pearsons Arms and enjoyed a fine lunch of potted shrimp, scallops and local fish in the company of Vic Reeves (well he was in the restaurant at the same time as us, so that must count).

In the afternoon I caught some more video projections at the local museum (I saw the end of a Paul MaCarthy piece, I think) and the tail end of the Whitstable Tourist Board's tour of Whitstable Art, which it seems most people where not sure if it was a spoof or not. Since it was listed under the performance art pieces, I guess it must have been!

The Unwrong Quiz

A brief rest and a shower later and it was time to make my way back to The Smack to set up for the Unwrong Quiz. This is a format developed by Frog Morris and Mark Quinn which follows the standard pub quiz format except for the fact that there are no wrong or right answers. Creativity and originality rule the day and the answers are often very funny. In the company of many of the day's performers and artists the routine is to ask about 5 questions and then while Frog and Mark go through the answers I play some songs. An added twist this time around is that due to the nice weather we started out in the beer garden, so I did my first outdoor show for a while. Some of the songs are better suited to being al fresco than others, so I had to shift the set around to accommodate this situation. I was a little frustrated to start with as I'd brought all my clever kit with me to allow me to do harmonies, effects and loops and playing in the garden kinda prevented me from using them. I kept willing the weather to turn cold so we could all head indoors.

After three or four rounds (I won a set of emergency blankets!) we finally decamped to the warmth of the pub and I was able to use the equipment I'd brought with me. This produced a few nerves, but I feel that my first ever use of the VoiceLive box for my songs live went well. Even the use of the looper at the end of When The Snow Fell In Denver, which calls for accurate foot stamping whilst playing, went well. I can't wait to make use of this kit at full volume for a proper set, roll on The Fiddler's Elbow on the 16th... should be an exciting night! Despite the two location gig and the amount of kit involved I only repeated one song, which was I Need Your Love, this one works well both on it's own and with effects and harmonies, so I felt it deserved a reprise.

The final act of the evening was the sing-a-long, which we've been perfecting at the Montague Arms. We now have giant songsheets as well as handouts, so there is no excuse for people not joining in. First up was It's Summertime (which you can download here if you'd like to hear it) with harmonies and a delay effect it was a big sound and people certainly sang along with gusto. Finally another rousing chorus of Angry Badger (it's not my song... Frog maintains it's a traditional folk tune that he's arranged, but I'm not so sure... you can download a version from here if you'd like to check it out for yourself) wrapped the evening up - I even managed to play the chorus right and add the voice of doom!



So that was it, Whitstable was over for us and all that was left to do was pack the van and head back to the big smoke. If any of this sounds like your sort of thing, then do come down to Second Thursdays at the Montague Arms in New Cross (every 2nd Thursday of the month, next one is Ladies Night on the 10th July) or one of my gigs - next one is 16th July at The Fiddler's Elbow in Chalk Farm.

See you soon!

Dxxx

Oh I Do Like To Be Beside The Seaside... I

It's taken a few days to recover sufficiently to write this review of the Whitstable Biennale 2008. Not that I didn't enjoy every minute, but two weekends in a row of very little sleep have taken it out of me a bit. Undeterred though, here we go...

The Whitstable Arts Festival lasts about 3 weeks and comes around every two years. I had no idea what to expect, the last Biennale I went to was Documenta in Kassel, which is a very dreary German prison town. Whitstable on the other hand is a beautiful Kent seaside town on a picturesque pebbled bay. We even got lucky with the weather, sun and rolling clouds with no rain at all. Just as well as we were there to see the performance art, which was mostly outside.

When we arrived the first thing to do was hit the beach, where we came across the The Man From Above (otherwise known as Charlie Tweed) there to inform us of how to avoid being drowned by building a platform or occupying high ground. I was particularly taken by his survival outfit of wetsuit and welding mask that, he informed me, had been purchased from eBay! Also on the beach was a sea container featuring a video by Jananna Al-Ani. Video in a sea container is fine, but it was so bright outside that you couldn't see it unless the door was clanged shut behind you, visions of Kassel maximum security prison flashed through my mind! Leaving the beach behind us we checked out some more screenings and then had a well deserved rest.

Next appointment on the Saturday was to see Lee Campbell's performance - The Fall And Rise. This event had already enjoyed much publicity in the national press, and a call for volunteers had been very successful. The anticipation was immense as we waited on the beach with about 400 other passers-by and art lovers (we do love a good crowd in England, I'm sure half the people waiting had no idea at all what they were waiting for). We didn't have to wait too long, as Lee and several dozen volunteers marched towards the beach wearing suits and shouting slogans from the hit TV series The Fall And Rise Of Reginald Perrin. "I didn't get where I am today by eating greasy sausages" or similar... as the cameras flashed and people gaped in amusement, they all made there way down to the lapping waves and then recreated the scene where Reggie strips off and runs into the sea to fake his own death. Unfortunately I had to leave at this point to start setting up for the evening, but I talked to the curator Frog Morris later and asked how it went. He replied that there was rather more full-frontal nudity than he'd been expecting, but general consensus was that it had been a fantastic event. And the day was not over yet!!!



Seaside Cabaret

The final event of the day was the Seaside Cabaret at The Smack. The Smack is a little (and I mean little) seaside Inn with a horseshoe bar, beer garden, pub dogs and a gaggle of bemused regulars. Their day was to become slightly surreal as a succession of performers and artists trooped through the door. First up was Princess Penang, aka Alex Staiger, who dressed in gold catsuit, tiara, kid's bikini and that strap-on and using a mixture of marshmallows, a lollipop, cake sprinkles, a trampoline and heavy metal guitar riffs (courtesy of yours truly) she proceeded to wow, stun and heal the locals and other passers-by. One of my highlights of the whole weekend was when she healed Das Schimmel and Herman Rarebell III. It was a truly unmissable and unique art moment.



After the pub garden healing we moved inside for more cabaret. The evening was hosted by Dawn Chalkley in full drag, and was kicked off by Frog Morris with his drawings and stand-up routine. After Frog it was Victor Mount with tin can guitar and more funny tales delivered in his usual laid back style. After him came the truly extraordinary Leigh Clarke, who does a quite jaw-dropping human beatbox performance. After this mesmerizing set the final act was Deference Engine, a prog-rock band from Norfolk. They wow'd the crowd again with a set of intriguing songs, finishing off with the crowd calling for Big, Big Sofa and a rousing chorus of Angry Badger!

After that it was back to the artist's house to sleep it off, and that was just the Saturday! More to come on the Sunday's hi-jinks later.

Princess Penang And A Very Angry Badger

We're mad we are... Thursday night was another great fun event. It was Old Chap evening at the Montague Arms, and many a fine moustache was seen paraded in this truly unique venue. Frog Morris kicked the night off with some readings from a particularly spooky looking pulpit. He was followed by Will Noble on piano and Daniel Lehan reading from his childhood diaries (1957 - 1972). Following on from that it was my turn to entertain. With Frog pointing to lyrics pinned to a coffin lid (don't ask, I have no idea where they got it from) I proceeded to lead the crowd in a rousing chorus or two of It's Summertime. After that was the world debut of my version of the well known folk tune - Angry Badger (Arr. Frog Morris) - with increasing amounts of chaos I used my VoiceLive processor to add choruses of mice, and a doom-laden deep voice for the final line of the last verse! This is all a bit different from what I usually do, but great fun, in fact I had to stop myself laughing from the stage as it descended into farce towards the end.

If this wasn't enough - Princess Penang (Alex Staiger) was also in the house... healing people and providing advice and therapy from her stall. Amongst the items she uses are a yellow lollipop, a toy cow that poops jellybeans, marshmallows (for sculptures) and a strap-on phalus (a symbol of luck and fertility, so I'm told). Many people were healed during the night, and the picture shows the Princess listening to Frog's heartbeat during a comprehensive physical examination. Sound like fun? Well it was and we'll be doing most of it again, plus more in Whitstable Biennale during the weekend of 28th-29th June... do come along and join in.

The evening was wrapped up by Mr. B the Gentleman Rhymer... who previewed new songs for us. Tell me, where else can you get that much entertainment for £3?!



Other news... Many thanks to Giggles! for a great review of my CD on her blog, I'm still happy to send a CD to anyone who would like one... click here for details.

Don't forget I'm playing tomorrow 15th June 2008, 7.00pm at the 15 Minute Club @ Prohibition Bar & Grill, Unit 1 Tower Bridge House, St. Katharine Docks, East Smithfield, E1W 1AA. I'll have some CDs with me for everyone who'd like one, so that's another extra reason for coming along.

More news soon! Have fun,

Dxxx

The End Of The World pt1

I started writing this song a month or so ago whilst watching The Day After Tomorrow The chord sequence suggested itself straightaway, along with a strong urge to sing "It's not the end of the world", at the refrain at the end of the verse. I thought at the time that this was a bit cliched, especially as I ended up writing global-warming-is-upon-us kinda lyrics, inspired by the theme of the film. After the initial burst of interest, I shelved it as it wasn't really inspiring me.

Weeks later I improvised some new lyrics to the chords and it started to be about something else entirely... now it kind of conjures up the idea of a person suffering from mental illness or possibly hallucinations, and the verses started to shape from there. I've been on both sides of the mental illness equation and I know that it often affects the people around the person suffering more than the victim themselves, especially in cases of mania, schizophrenia or Alzheimer's. Recent play-throughs have been interesting as I manage to work myself up through the refrains... not actually singing, but kind of implying the words "I'm waiting for the end of my world" that the title suggests. I may or may not sing that bit live, it all depends. I really like the "How can we stop you screaming?" line, which is actually inspired by Whitley Schrieber's book Communion, and a man who believes he was abducted by aliens. At least I think it's from there... it might have been from a dream.

Anyway, without further ado, here are the lyrics. Demo to follow when I have the rest of the second verse and the melody/form pinned down. I will definitely play a version of it on Wednesday at the Blag Club in Notting Hill - even unfinished I have a lot of belief in it.

The End Of The World pt1
================

There's a hole in my heart,
Where the blood runs cold.
I've been told that I better calm down,
But I never could do what I'm told

So I'm looking down on myself,
And I can't feel my own skin.
I hear this clown say I really feel down,
But the joke is wearing thin

I'm really struggling here...

I think I've been here before?
On the slide or roundabout.
There's something I've been meaning to say,
But the words just won't come out.

I'm really struggling here...

How can we stop you screaming?
(We're only trying to help.)
How can we stop you screaming?

I really shouldn't be here,
This is all a mistake.
I think I might even know who you are,
If I can just recognise your face.

Why is my brain speeding up?
Why is the room changing size?
I'm sure that we can clear this all up,
If the doctor's stop telling me lies

I'm really struggling here...
I'm waiting for the end of my world.
I'm really struggling here...
I'm waiting for the end of my word

How can we stop you screaming?
How can we stop you screaming?

I'm really struggling here...
I'm waiting for the end of my world.
I'm really struggling here...
I'm waiting for the end of my word


(D. Callow 2008)


Yesterday I saw the slides of Nan Goldin set to the (live) music of John Kelly and Patrick Wolf in the Turbine Hall at Tate Modern. A very inspiring performance, especially by Patrick Wolf, whom I had not heard of before, but is a very talented multi-instrumentalist with a fantastic vocal range. Apart from getting a sore bum from inadequate cushioning, it was a very uplifting evening.

Dxxx

Who's Fit?

On Tuesday I was in Kentish Town (how can a town be Kent... ish? I can't say I spotted any oast houses or fields of Oilseed Rape), for another splendid SoundBites night at The Abbey. I was treated to some very tuneful and skilful playing. I didn't catch the name of the first act, but it included a very good Djembe player. Slightly scarily the second act, Craig Brauns, had quite a high pitched voice and from the loos it sounded like a girl singing, but it turned out to be a bloke in a hat and flares. Nice voice though, kinda like Rod Stewart on reflection.

After these turns was my friend Wayne with his band Fit & The Conniptions, I never did ask him who was Fit and who was the Conniptions... it's all nonsense anyway! I have to say that his band were excellent, featuring multi-instrumentalist Paul Tkachenko on bass, and a super drummer (name TBA) who arrived ten minutes before they played. As if in recognition of their excellent playing Wayne decided to wear a tie for the occasion. I was pretty impressed enough to blurt at the drummer that I'd like to employ him, before stumbling off to the loo (again! Well Guinness will do that to you).

The final act included a new harmonica (apparantly the others had given up the ghost because he didn't warm them up! Consequently much warming up of the new harmonica was in evidence) and a kazoo... plus some creative heckling from the audience. Regrettably I had to leave to head home before the end, but it was still a fun evening.


Btw, I have a horrible feeling that Frog Morris and I are the Statler and Waldorf of the contempory art scene in the UK... check us out halfway through this great video from Alex Staiger.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UPuSK0yT3WA

Actually that's probably unfair on Frog.

I've also been booking some more gigs this week, full list below.

Have fun!

Daren
xxx

P.S. A have another new song on the way, lyrics and demo to be posted here first!

28th May, 8pm - Notting Hill Blag Club
1st Floor, 68 Notting Hill Gate, London W11 3HT

12th June, 8.30pm - Montague Arms
289 Queens Road, New Cross, SE15 2PA

15th June, 8.00pm - 15 Minute Club
Prohibition Bar & Grill, Unit 1 Tower Bridge House, St. Katharine Docks, East Smithfield, E1W 1AA

29th June, 6.00pm - Whitstable Biennale
The Smack Inn, Middle Wall, Whitstable, Kent

9th July, 8.30pm - Montague Arms
289 Queens Road, New Cross, SE15 2PA

16th July, 8.00pm - Club Fabulous
The Fiddler’s Elbow, 1 Malden Road, Chalk Farm, NW5 3HS

Art Art Art... oh, and Music

On Thursday I ventured up to Bethnal Green to the first birthday bash of Art Art Art. This was at the VINEspace gallery in Vyner St and was another eye-opening event. Chief amongst the highlights were Lee Campbell sticking Evening Standard posters to the wall whilst playing What A Wonderful World This Would Be, then chanting the headlines and shouting into the world's worst megaphone before setting off down the road on a one man protest, shouting Down Down! I also really enjoyed the performance from Holly Darton and Jenny Hunt, which was practically indescribable, but featured dance moves, exercises, overheard phone conversations and party poppers!

After some delicious cake the main events were over, but as we loitered outside the Victory pub it turned out there was one more piece to view. Broadcast live from the Bun House pub in Peckham onto a screen in the pub was what could only be described as a female crotch shot. We discussed what it could be, was she about to give birth, or was it porn masquerading as art?! The answer turned out to be that that it was a close-up of a life drawing class as was soon revealed when the camera changed shot.

Megaphones, cake, party poppers and naked models... that's what I want for MY birthday dammit.

Anyway, in other news... do stop by Global Icon and rate my tune The Fool I Am, which is currently lying at number 108 (hopefully not out of 108!!!!) in the Pop & Rock competition.

If you've not yet had the indubitable pleasure of singing along to It's Summertime... your next chance will be Thursday 12th June at the Montague Arms as part of the Old Chaps evening - featuring the sublime Mr B the Gentleman Rapper.

I've also been practicing very hard for the Blag Club gig on the 28th May, do come along as I think there will be a good crowd and I'm hoping to put on a really good show. Oh, and don't forget to email me if you want a free CD!!

Love to all,

Daren
xx

EXTRA

You can now check out highlights of the evening on video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UPuSK0yT3WA

If They Were Looking Down, What On Earth Would They Make Of Us?

Another busy and somewhat surreal few days. On Sunday I played a floorspot at a night hosted by Brett Gowlett at the Cross Kings. It was entertaining in several ways, firstly I managed somehow to hook my guitar onto the wrong hole in my strap so it was hanging about 20cm lower than normal. Of course this doesn't sound like much, but when you are used to it being a certain position it makes it a bit more interesting than it should be to get your hands to go to the right places. Anyway, I think I got away with it.

Immediately after me there were two female stand-up comedians asking us to "flick our bead for Jesus". not me personally you understand, but the fellow girls in the audience. Their images of Jesus as a pin-up hunk are etched in my mind!! After them was a series of other performance artists and poets who swam in a paddling pool, recited strange poems (and a truly hilarious version of There Was An Old Woman Who Swallowed A Fly) and recited weird and wonderful facts about the world! Needless to say the usual gaggle of white male middle-class singer-songwriters who performed in between were somewhat nonplussed. Brett is hosting another evening at the Hobgoblin in Islington on the 7th April if any of this takes your fancy, I'm hoping to play there too.

On Monday I went to see the Barbican's current art exhibition - The Martian Museum of Terrestrial Art, which is supposedly a museum of art as curated by visiting Martians. In fact it was a really enjoyable and absorbing modern art exhibition, which has been rightly praised by critics and public alike. I felt very glad to have seen it on a quiet day as I took the time to view every piece and was really taken by it. I don't think I've ever seen modern art in such an accessible and thought-provoking context, so I can't really recommend it enough.

Last night I sat and watched a video tape of Level 42 live at Wembley. It reminded me of a time way back when my friend (and my brother's best man) Andie, who was friend's with the band, threatened to get me an audition as their new guitarist. He was deadly serious, but fortunately it never came to pass. I was immensely relieved as I was scared shitless at the thought! Anyway, the video brought back loads of memories, and served once again to reinforce my belief that you should never let keyboard players sing!!

Currently I'm still working on a new recording, but I'm confident it will be finished enough by the end of today to get an airing. I'm also off to see my friend Jack Stafford play at the Troubadour tonight if anyone is at a loose end.

Okay, that's enough ramblings for now - back to the recording desk.

Dxxx

It's All Just So Unwrong

I had great fun yesterday afternoon. I was taking part in an afternoon of music, poetry, art and comedy hosted by Frog Morris at the Sun & Doves in Camberwell. It was part of a big month-long extravaganza loosely co-ordinated by The Guy Hilton gallery.

The afternoon didn't get off to the best start as Frog hadn't got a lead long enough to allow his Mac to be plugged into the PA. So he left to go to buy one and fellow performer Theo Morris took the opportunity to tune the Stylophones (!) with his friend Tom. Eventually Frog returned with a lead that was almost long enough, and with the aid of a table and a chair managed to get the laptop connected. The entertainment then kicked off with Theo Morris, (occasionally accompanied by Tom on Stylophone and air guitar, and Frog on vocals) performing songs about a goose, an overly large sofa and an angry badger.

The main event of the afternoon was Frog and Mark Quinn's Unwrong quiz. This is a great fun event in which there are no right or wrong answers and the audience are encouraged to submit surreal or funny answers and prizes are given out liberally. I tried to get into the surreal mood by answering all the questions in white pencil on a sheet of white paper, but I think I may only have been sabotaging my chances of winning a prize, as they couldn't read my answers. I did somehow manage to win two prizes over the afternoon, including writing the question for the answer "Sombrero" for which I wrote, "What is the saddest hat?" - Sombre-ro.. geddit?! Okay, so I'm no comedian... just as well that I was playing music then.

My real contribution to the afternoon was three sets of my own songs, starting with All I Want Is You and a new version of The Chosen One (which I will be recording next week). The second set was longer with Do You Want To Dance, Obsession, Lightkeeper and I Need Your Love. Since this was an art and comedy event, I also performed my Summertime Sing-a-long song - It's Summertime - which went down very well, with adults, bar staff, children and fellow performers all singing with gusto!! Thank you all so much for joining in.

More tunes from Tom, Theo and stand-up from Frog and Mark followed and the quiz answers became steadily more drunken. Towards the end of the afternoon I think Frog had a bit of a break-down as he decided to not be outdone by previous performers at these events. As the audience watched in horror he stripped to the waist, produced meths, cigarettes and large kitchen knives and then proceeded to stand on a chair blindfolded threatening to gut a small fish!! Common sense finally prevailed and with the help of his fiancé and three random small children he was talked out of it and ran crying from the pub! We hope he recovers okay.

Well this was certainly a different and entertaining afternoon, and if you fancy joining in something similar do check out Second Thursdays at the Montague Arms in New Cross, where Frog, Theo, Mark and myself are regular performers. You never know quite what might happen.

In other news one of my songs has been playlisted on IAC's Pretty Darn Good radio station and the new recordings are proceeding well. Also, do check out my brother, Haydn, playing drums in my Dining Room.

Love to all,

Daren
xx

I Went To Documenta and All I Got Was This Lousy Mug

Actually I think it's a lovely mug and it's from the 4th Skulptur Projekte in Muenster and not from Documenta at all. But I did go to both last week and had a quite varied time. Documenta is an important (so they say) art exhibition and event which is held every five years in Kassel, Germany. Kassel itself is a very workman-like town in the heart of Germany with very few buildings older than the 50's. I wondered at first if it was a new town, but it turns out in fact that we bombed it flat during the war. Poignant then that the Documenta event is a very political exhibition and, this year at least, quite dark in nature. It didn't help either that the weather was lousy when we were there. After the fun of Berlin and the Kunst-Werke exhibition of Joe Coleman it came as quite a culture shock. We stayed in a business hotel just out of town and got the bus in each day to see the art. We shuffled around all the major galleries and tried to find somewhere to have fun in Kassel, but we failed. I also discovered the the brothers Grimm used to live there, grim was the word alright! So we left as early as we could and went to Muenster.

The Skulptur Projecte in Muenster only happens every ten years, and this is the fourth occurrence, so it's quite a privilege to be there. In contrast to Documenta the only politics seems to be about the interaction between art and public spaces and it's a much more light-hearted affair. I didn't get to see the Bruce Nauman inverted pyramid - Square Depression and the Guillaume Bijl buried church, but we did see some good stuff. Our favourites were the Mike Kelley petting zoo, complete with cow, goats and donkeys!! We also liked a sculpture made from crushed plastic animals, the sort that towns use to promote events. Ironically the hotel we stayed in actually had one of the painted cows in it's lobby!

Muenster is a much more fun place to go out and we managed to find a Mexican bar that served us about 6 cocktails with extra shots along the way and only charged us €28 !! We also found a fun Italian restaurant where everyone in the party gets their own charge card, no arguments about splitting the bill there then!! Now that's my kind of town!

Dxxx

P.S. The Shrinking Violets are reforming, and I'm supporting them at their gig on the 29th Sept at the Trinity in Harrow. Should be a riot!!

P.P.S. The Pet Shop Boys look set to announce more dates in October... hoorah!! I'm not unemployed yet!

Fit and the Conniptions

Well, I've just spent about the last three hours looking at the cartoons of I guy I barely know from about 15 years ago... he once roped in my brother to do drums for him, and I was probably very upset as I was dead jealous of anyone who stole my band members. But he's a totally cool guy (in an entirely un-cool way, if you know what I mean) and a sensational cartoonist. Think Dilbert for music lovers and you've just about got it. The fact that we are both still survivors in the "music world" despite various ups and downs is both a source of encouragement and a damning kick in the teeth, but that's what Wayne seems to be all about. So there you go. Do: a) check out his cartoon series, by clicking "First" in the link that's coming up and going through it day by day, b) go to one of his gigs, 'cos you'll be in the cartoon one way or another, and c) support your local musicians, we are like the High Street, about to be taken over by Tesco or summit.

Worthy posts on Documenta, Skulptur Projeckte and The Police to follow... keeep up if you can! Ha.

Here is Wayne's cartoon about our gig the other night: http://www.conniptions.org/?20070827

Dxx

P.S. Happy birthday to my brother on 3rd Sept just gone... the day war broke out, don't chya'know!