Thursday, September 27, 2007

Spametry

I'm off to play another last minute gig tonight after an invite from my friend Wayne. If anyone is at a loose end, do come down and support us at: HOBGOBLIN (Formerly 'The Jay Cubed') (club & bar), 73 White Lion St, Islington, N1 9PF (Nearest tube Angel) - music kicks off around 8pm.

Tonight is special as I'm planning to perform the world premier of a new poem I've 'written'. Now I don't do a lot of poetry reading, in fact none at all, but this poem is mercifully short and it's origins are very interesting. I was scanning my Junk Mail folder a few weeks ago, checking in case anything had been wrongly filed, and I realised that the headings of the 5 spam mails in there read as a rather beautiful, poignant and, some might even say, profound poem. It has almost Haiku like elegance and a real punch in the pay-off. I've reproduced it below (note I haven't changed the order of the lines), as I'm sure it will whet the appetites of all for my performance tonight.

For those that can't make it, I'll give a full account later (assuming anything interesting happens).

Have fun!

Daren

Don't Wait Any Longer
(D. Callow et al)

Don’t wait any longer,
Have you got a sec?
Looking for a friend?
Timing, important.
Do you want to enlarge your penis?

5 comments:

Vi vi vi vooom!!!!!!!! said...

LMAO! I think I could have written the exact same thing from my spam!

So Darren, do you want to enlarge your penis? lol

Dazza said...

VVV: Well if the volume of emails trying to sell me penis enlargement are anything to go by you'd think I did, but on the whole I've been pretty happy with it up to now.

BTW, the gig was a bit of a disaster from my point of view as I broke not one, but two strings and the train journey home was a nightmare. All my own fault though, I will know better next time.

Daren
xx

Peach said...

ha haaaaaa brilliant!

sorry to hear of gig nightmare dude - party on, and while you're at it, can you buy an E string and mend my guitarrrrrrrrr from the summer, shows you how long I've not played it for.

I plonked the joanna for the first time last night. Terrible. Must do better!

xxx

having my cake said...

So, the poem didnt enhance your performance then?

Dazza said...

HMC: No. Hey, wait a minute, what are you trying to imply?! Ha ha.