Thursday, November 09, 2006


Bel Age Hotel, Los Angeles

So it's nearly all over... the american adventure. The day after tomorrow I will be back home in the UK... and it's all a bit scary. I've gotten kinda used to this strange nomadic lifestyle... my Day Sheet tells me where I am and what I'm supposed to be doing. My laminate pass gets me in and out of some amazing theatres and buildings. I pick up Diet Coke and doughnuts on a regular basis... all free. Food arrives at the appropriate time. I work in the back of a truck, as a kind of itinerant tinker... selling cloth to the americans. Counting shirts, counting money, counting shirts again. I'm kept awake at night by the rumble of bus tyres on concrete... the sway of the vehicle across the road. When I wake up I often don't know where I am.

It's only been 35 days but it feels like a lot longer... I've changed! Will my friends still know me? I've been through the looking glass, in Narnia, up the far-away tree... time to come back down. I have a beer belly (small) and muscles (a few). I have dirt under my fingernails and calluses on my feet. I've learned some useless new skils:

1) How to open a beer bottle with a cigarette lighter
2) How to tell what size shirt people wear by just looking at them
3) How to tell if a bundle of t-shirts has more or less than 12 in it by, again, just looking at it
4) How to operate a variety of coffee makers
5) How to use a toilet in a moving bus without falling over

So where does this leave me? Certainly a lot happier than I used to be... but I'm still kinda scared to come back to reality. So if I occasionally seem a little weird or distracted when I'm back forgive me... I'm just trying to find my feet again in the real world.

Dxx

p.s. Sent the world's funniest email to my friend Sarah last night before passing out... "...no idea why I mighty be emaily you... but in the ost amazing suite in LA looking over dome of the ost amaring plazce, and I wish you werehere... to tell me to stop being such a sentimatantal twat...ooops bit drunk... "

p.p.s Apologies to anyone who received a strange phonecall at about 10 in the morning last night, I accidently left my phone in another room, and I think some of my esteemed colleagues may have found it amusing to randomly dial a few numbers!

1 comment:

Paula said...

Haha, sounds like you've discovered your inner bloke... love it! Enjoy what's left and hope you have a good trip back. Pxx