No Chance of a T-Shirt Fire

Swindon, UK. I'm selling T-Shirts in a leisure complex, there are boys and girls with shorts and singlets on everywhere. To get to catering you go past the Squash courts. There are the sounds of dance classes emerging from behind doors. There are forms and posters everywhere... your safety is our concern!

I'm selling from the reception area for the swimming pool. One of the managers askes me if I want a fire extinguisher. Is there a danger of a T-Shirt fire? Perhaps I'll just throw them in the pool... or run. People keep coming up and asking if the pool is open, or where the changing rooms are.

A lady trips up going to the loo, there are staff everywhere... first aid, management, there's a form to fill in. In the office they have charts to show all the accidents that have occurred. No T-Shirt related incidents to report, phew!

Off to Ireland today and a very easy gig merchandising-wise. It's just up the road from the Sound Mixer's house, so we're off for a barbeque. Then it's back to the UK for a week or so, and time to re-adjust to real-life 1.0

The Home Gig

Good to see you all at Hammersmith last night. Hope you all got home okay, let me know what you made of it, gold cowboys and all.

Dxx

Tempting

In our bus there is a big red button. This big red button is temptingly labelled in true Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy fashion DO NOT TOUCH! Surely the only reason for big red buttons to exist is to be pressed.

Today I am by the sea in Skive, Denmark at a festival. In true seaside fashion I will be selling my t-shirts from what appears to be a big red beach hut. Complete with sand on the floor. Back in the UK tomorrow and looking forward to seeing friends on Wednesday.

Dxxx

A Postcard From Brighton

Here I am back by the sea. Weather sunny but windy. Filled with memories of childhood holidays, and gigs by the coast. Day off today and then a gig in town tomorrow. Then we fly to Copenhagen from Stanstead.

Having fun with Garage Band at the moment. Wish you were all here.

Dxxxx

Hamburg... again.

The last time I was in Hamburg was in '88... this time I stayed in room 666 (no joke).

The silly picture is the whole crew in Hamburg before the show... who's idea was the moustaches? Actually it was Colin's (laying down at the front).

Now I'm in Stuttgart for a couple of days off. I'm finally getting my camera back too, so more pictures to view soon.

That's all for now.

Wolfsburg, Germany

They make VWs here. The VW factory looks like Battersea power station with all it's legs in a row. If it was a table it would fall over. By contrast Battersea power station looks reassuringly stable.

Of course most of the towns we are visiting were destroyed during the war and have been subsequently rebuilt in the 50s. They are a weird mix of modern and fake old, well laid out and spacious, but perhaps lacking in soul.

A Big Mac tastes the same everywhere in the world, Diet Coke definitely tastes different.

Why do you always crave fast food when you are hungover?

Why do beggars always seem to have dogs these days?

When the Berlin wall came down the Berliners gained lots of open space. They made some nice parks.

Q: What do you do when you need to take your computer to the lobby before doors open in fifteen minutes and an internationally famous popstar is using it?

I left my phone at home, more than anything I miss being able to take pictures. How very 21st century.

Industrial towns look bleak in the rain.

I miss my guitars.

There is something strangely attractive about a shop that sells everything for 1 Euro.

Why does my browser insist in translating sites into the local language of wherever I am?! Just because I am in Germany doesn't mean I can suddenly speak German. Als Entwurf Speichern anyone?

A: Wait patiently whilst growing increasingly anxious.

There are no wolves in Wolfsburg.

In The Back Of The Van

This is where I work. It's a nice enough environment, usually with lots of fresh air and natural light, although occasionally it's a bit cold and dark or very hot and I have to turn the lights on or wrap up warm or strip off. My desk is a flight case and intray is a cardboard box. Like many people I have a phone (mobile) and a computer (Mac... no power though, battery only).

It's safe enough, the only worries are getting dirty or spiking myself whilst counting badges. Oh it's a bit grubby too, and occasionally people push heavy boxes at you or you have to pick your way around speakers and ironwork that's not being used, but on the whole I like it. People visit from time to time, but usually only for a fag and a quick chat. Somedays no one comes by.

It's a kinda weird experience to visit many glamorous and interesting cities around the US and Europe and get to only see the inside of one truck and a few concert halls, but I wouldn't swap it for the world.

(Currently in Dusseldorf, Germany)

That's You In The Spotlight

I had a go at another job on the tour, follow-spot operator. Simply this involved controlling a spotlight from one of the galleries, you listen to instructions, wiggle one knob and push some others, whilst trying all the time to keep a famous person or singer trapped in the glare of your headlight (as it were).

It's a surreal experience sending down this shaft of light and picking out a figure on the stage. They appear unreal, two-dimensional (you see no shadow) and trapped in a perfect circle of light. Wherever they go the light follows them and picks them out. Sometime the light goes ahead, sometimes it lags a little, but it always finds them in the end. There is no escape.

Of course I longed to be on the other side, the one in the spotlight.

It reminded me of another, earlier leg of the tour where the local production provided the spotlights. They arrived beaten-up in olive drab, with a distinct military air about them. We joked that perhaps they had been used previously on a border check-point or prison camp. There the idea is to search for people not being where they are supposed to be, and once caught perhaps shoot or at the very least raise the alarm. A whole different scenario that springs into my mind now whenever I'm using the light. Again, there would be no escape.

In that scenario, I know which end of the light beam I would want to be on.

On a lighter note...

I stayed in a hotel in Vilnius, Lithuania and had to get up obscenely early this morning. I asked the receptionist to get me a cab and after 5 calls he managed to do it. Taxis are hard to get in Vilnius, he explained. The cab duly arrived and we turned right out of the hotel and then immediately left into the airport. I had to laugh, I could easily have walked there in 10 minutes!!

(currently in Copenhagen, Denmark)

Oslo... ...Tallin

So, Oslo, city of err... Norwegians? And art, beer, 7-11s and nowhere to buy wine! Then the bus and we're in Stockholm, even stranger place, some parts very pretty, some parts very industrial. Then the love boat, err I mean the ferry to Helsinki. So beer, breeze, fjords, forts, more beer, wine, more wine, even more wine, dinner, venison, chicken. Red wine, red fortified wine (getting a bit hazy now). Disco, wine, cocktails, funny ties... wake up in my cabin in my clothes... off the ferry, in the bus, wait. Another ferry, this time to Tallin... Diet Coke, sandwich, talking, swaying... Tallin, off the ferry... where's the bus? Err, wrong paper-work, can't enter the country!! Get our bags, on the band bus to the hotel. Nice room. Bath, sleep, free porn! Medieval restaurant (don't stand in groups of 5 on the street or the police will break you up)... local soup (salty, rustic, very nice), beef... very good. White wine, red wine. Molly Malone's Irish pub, pear cider. Football... Liverpool win on penalties... result!! Back to the room, blog, sleep... tomorrow I sell t-shirts to Estonians.

Ratticus Norvegicus

So I'm back on tour... away from friends and family, but doing a job that I love very much. Always an interesting mix of feelings. We're currently in Norway. Last night was Bergen where the people all have immaculate Newcastle accents (when speaking English) and a fair anglo-saxon vocabulary. I'd forgotten how much I hate drunk people, but I do love being part of a pop touring party. So, stand-by for more pictures, lyrics, music and observations. Enjoy the ride.

And She Spelt My Name Right

Someone obviously taken with one of my lyrics! Thanks for the plug Cutienix.

http://cutienix.multiply.com/journal/item/32

If you'd like to hear the song, you can find it here:

I Don't Miss You

Keeping it in the Family

I owe my mum lots of things, and it seems not least amongst these is what little musical talent I have (har, har). My brother and I were reminiscing last week about our childhood, and one overriding memory we have is of forming our own bands as small children and writing songs to perform for each other. In true Spinal Tap style, I can even remember a couple of the songs I wrote way back then and could attempt them for you now (I won't).

It would come as no surprise that as soon as we are able we started playing real instruments. Haydn had always wanted to play the drums, and after an initial experiment with a keyboard (not loud enough), I started playing the guitar (ah, that's better). I've never had a guitar lesson in my life, but almost immediately after acquiring my first one (a white Strat copy, it was pretty bad and was soon traded in for a Candy Apple Red Fender Telecaster) we performed at our local church, playing an original keyboard and drums composition and (somewhat obscurely) Wrapped Around Your Finger by The Police (my all time favourite band, Blog on their reunion to follow soon)!

After this we went on to form Air with a friend called Chris 'Kris'Holdsworth on synthesizers. This was in 1986 and we went on to play with two different bass players (stand up Steve Gent and Andy Philips) for 10 years. This included some fun support slots and even a play on Radio 1 by Steve Wright. Another 10 years later I'm still strumming and Haydn is still playing too, although his tastes have moved into the more muso Jazz world. Check out his new outfit here:

The Haydn Callow Trio

He's also a sight-reading teacher for Drum-Tech and you can see him speak here:

Haydn's Video Profile

So what does this have to do with my mum? Well for many years I have wondered why my brother and I seemed so interested in playing music, but no one else in our extensive collection of cousins and cousin's kids seemed to be following our lead... until now! And, of course, the person in question is on my mum's side of the family, so now we know where the genes came from!! So if you haven't already, please check out my cousin Murray's kid - Tim Pennels and his band Freedom of Expression. As an added bonus, I recorded and mixed all the tunes you can hear.

Freedom of Expression

The Modified Toy Orchestra

On a whim Alex and I went to see the Modified Toy Orchestra supporting Tunng at the Southbank Centre last night. I had no real idea what to expect, but was delighted to see a stage covered in toy robots, speak and spells and a panoply of garishly coloured toy instruments. Then there was the music itself! Invoking the spirit of Kraftwerk, Ultravox and early Depeche Mode, they were truly amazing. I've never heard such good music in a long while, and the video backdrops were excellent too.

Don't just take my word for it though, check them out:

http://www.myspace.com/toyorch

http://www.warmcircuit.com/web/

BTW, Tunng were a kind of trance-folk outfit... I should have been worried when all the guitarists were sitting down! Kinda fun to begin with, but after 3 songs sounding pretty much the same I started to doze off. Needless to say, we left.

Lullabies Finally Finished

I'm really excited to announce that I have actually finished the Lullabies EP and here it is:

Lullabies from the Wheels of the Bus EP

Please check it out and let me know what you think.

LGBT History Poetry Night

Had a thoroughly enjoyable (if slightly unusual) night last night. I was invited by my friend Steve Antoni to contribute a few songs to the LGBT History night at the Poetry Cafe. It's a wonderfully intimate venue, despite having all the ambiance of an AA meeting... the standard for poetry and reading was very high I thought and the evening gelled together well. I played Vulnerable and Tomorrow in the first half and spurred on by a glass or two of wine, added Minneapolis and I Need Your Love in the second. I was sandwiched (metaphorically speaking) between poems about Balls and Gay dating and prose about wistful Lesbian encounters... didn't seem too out of place though, so I suppose that says something in itself.

If anyone from the night stumbles across this Blog, you might like to know that all the songs I performed are available as free MP3 downloads from my homepage, just follow the links on the right hand side.

Sneaky Summertime Smash?

I know it's not Summer yet, but I think it's high time I revived my Summer anthem and had a go and creating a bit of an underground swell to get it in the charts (ha, ha). This song was originally conceived for the Christian O'Connell show on Xfm when he called for a new Summer Anthem. I never even got played, which is a cruel travesty of justice!! So, take a listen, take a download and pass it on to all your friends... let's beat the system!! Failling that I hope it at least gives you a warm glow if the days get cold again.

It's Summertime 2007

Features the excellent Haydn Callow on electronic drums and the majestic and modest Sean 'y boy' Watkins on bass.

77

Just to prove that I can never have less than two projects on the go, I have already started designing the cover for my next solo outing. To be called 77 this will be a collection of radically re-worked old songs (the ones that don't lend themselves to the acoustic treatment, or deserve more atmospheric mixes) and new works, probably about 10 tunes in all. I'll post lyrics and songs as they emerge here first!

Let me know what you think of the cover artwork.

Who's Dumb Now?

Something I thought I'd never see, is one of my CDs on eBay, but hey it actually happened:

Dumb CD on eBay

Correctly labelled as an independent "release" this was the second demo CD I recorded with the band Air (not the French outfit of the same name, note!) It's cool to see that someone still has a copy, although no one actually bid on it... not surprising really. If anyone would like a copy I have about 300 copies in the loft. Ha, ha.

Lullabies Cover

I just wanted to say a big Thank You to Alex Staiger, who designed the cover for my next album project for me. Thanks baby!

As a bonus to anyone who makes it to The Horn in St. Albans tonight, I'll be premiering Minneapolis. Hungover. Tired. Awake. Along with a second track tonight.

I'm Still Here

Well, it's a minor miracle, but I've actually finished all the recordings for I'm Still Here. There are ten tracks in all, and they are all one take, no overdubs, no edits and only a few effects. The songs are a combination of old and new tracks, but all recorded in a stripped down, guitar and voice combination. In the end I sacrificed absolute perfection to get a good performance of each track, and get them all finished. The tracks were all recorded via a Yamaha AW16G and mixed on an Apple Mac G4 running Cubase. To hear all the finished tracks (and the original demos, if you so desire) follow this link:

I'm Still Here

This finally frees me up to get on with producing the final songs for Lullabies. This work will start in the next week, so you should be able to check out new tracks soon. I've even decided what the next project will be, so stand by for more information on that.